I never put much thought into pregnancy. Truth be told I never wanted children... well not until the recent past. My teens and twenties were filled with ambitions of traveling the world and I spent a few years living abroad and doing just that. When women shared dreams of becoming mothers and housewives I felt sorry for them. Perhaps it's because I grew up an only child to a single mom, and I saw how much my mother sacrificed for me. Maybe I just needed to be selfish and live my life first or maybe it was because I had so many other plans that children just didn't fit. My family would tell me that I'd change my mind one day but I never thought that I would and for a long time I didn't. That was until a few years ago.
My adventurous life of living in Japan and backpacking Southeast Asia for weeks at a time had come to an end. My career didn't take off as planned and I found myself back in New Jersey working a boring job. It seemed everything went downhill except that I met (or rather re-united) with someone that I had gone to high school with. We never really knew each other back then but we began spending time together, became friends, and over time became a couple. I found myself happy with Teddy even when doing the most mundane tasks. Something in me changed too because I now saw the possibility of a future that I never would have imagined for myself. I could see myself with this man for the rest of my life and more so I could see us having a child or even children ..gasp. I was becoming one of those women that wanted a family, and it was no longer something I pitied but a future that I desired.
All this became very clear when I stood in my bathroom staring down at a white plastic stick. As I saw the two pink lines and the realization that I'm (well, we are) having a baby hit me- I was overwhelmed with excitement and happiness. So at 35 years old I'm pregnant with what will be my first child and a new adventure begins.
