So both Teddy and I hope to have a boy. Teddy, like all guys, wants a boy to do guy stuff with and pass on his manly wisdom. I want a boy because I like boy clothes and toys more. I love all the skull decal clothes for boys, camo print pants, and idea of cutting my kid's hair into a mohawk or at least a faux-hawk. I also prefer legos and toy cars to dolls. Plus I think guys are easier in the teen/ puberty years (I base that on how much of a pain in the ass bitch I was back then).
As I mentioned in my last post- a panorama test provides results on the baby sex because the test can tell if the sex chromosomes as XX (girl) or XY (boy). So when we got the results of odds of our baby having birth defects we were also given the option to find out the baby's sex. Some people chose to wait for the birth and be surprised but we wanted to know. AND..........
It's a Girl!
Teddy and I were both a little bummed but the baby is healthy and that's what is most important. I HATE pink and am far from being a girly girl so I'm worried that luck will bring me a daughter that will be obsessed with pink, frilly things, and everything super girly. Meanwhile Teddy is already dreading the teenage years and all the boys that will try dating his daughter; "it's karma coming back to me for the way I treated girls when I was younger," says Teddy. Other aspects of having a girl that we dread are pre-teen know-it-all mood swings, puberty, periods, worrying she'll get knocked up before finishing high school, and the price tag of her wedding that we'll one day be paying (although that tradition is dying out a bit). As you can tell we are kinda heavy on the cons and low on pros of having a baby girl- so if you have any positives you want to share... feel free to comment. Like I said- the major pro is that we are having a healthy baby... so if nothing else that one pro outweighs all the cons. I know we'll both love her tremendously regardless if all our fears come true.
There are a number of tests and screening that can be done between weeks 10 and 22 of pregnancy to determine if the baby is at high risk for any abnormalities and or chromosome defects. Many of these tests are optional, however since statistically the odds of birth defects are higher for pregnant woman that have a family history of genetic defects or are 35 years old or older, these tests may be required for some. Since I'm 35 and pregnant for the first time I knew that I would have one of these tests done. Chorionic Villus Sampling (CVS) Test: The CVS, chorionic villus sampling, test is used to identify the odds of the baby having chromosome abnormalities and/ or other inherited disorders. The test is offered to woman that are between 10 and 13 weeks pregnant. A sample of the chorionic villi cells from the placenta are collected and tested to determine the odds of the baby having any abnormalities. The sample can be collected either vaginally or by needle going through the abdomen. According to the American Pregnancy Association the procedure is safe but there is a risk of miscarriage; " Miscarriage is the primary risk related to CVS occurring 1 out of every 100 procedures." Amniocentesis Test: The amniocentesis or amniotic fluid test (AFT), is another option to test for the potential of abnormalities and/ or defects in the baby. This test can be done between weeks 16 and 22 of pregnancy. The procedure for this test is to inject a needle into amniotic sac through the abdomen and uterus after a local anesthetic is given to the mother and extract some of the amniotic fluid for testing. Unlike the CVS test, the AFT can also screen for neural tube defects. Some risks of amniocentesis testing are miscarriage, needle injury to the baby if the needle sticks them, and leaking amniotic fluid. The risk of miscarriage from this test is lower than that of CVS testing; estimated that a miscarriage related to AFT occures between 1 out of every 300 to 1 out of every 500 procedures, as per the Mayo Clinic website.
New testing The two above tests are the most common based on my findings in books, magazines, chat boards, and online searches. These have been the norm for at least the past decade if not longer. Lucky for me, I did not do either of these tests as neither option seemed pleasant. Instead my doctor told me that as of last year (so 2013) a blood test is being used to test for chromosome abnormalities. I hate having blood drawn but it's a less invasive method without any known risk of miscarriage and the newest technology. Plus I love my obstetrician and trust his judgement. The new blood test to screen for chromosome deficiencies and baby sex is offered by two companies. The one that I did is called the Panorama test. Panorama Test: The Panorama test is a simple non invasive blood test that is used to determine the babies odds of abnormalities and defects. During pregnancy some of the DNA of the baby crosses into the mother's blood stream. So a number of vials of blood are drawn (I think they took about 9 vials!) and then a lab pulls DNA information from the blood, dividing the DNA of the fetus from the DNA of the mother and then evaluating the Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes, with a total of 46 (2 copies of each). The Panorama tests screens to check the chromosomes to see if there are any extra chromosomes or only one when there should be a pair. Three of the chromosomal abnormalities that Panorama screens for are trisomy 21, trisomy 18, and trisomy 13, which result in Down syndrome, Edwards syndrome and Patau Syndrome, respectively. All of these syndromes are a result of having a third chromosome (either partial or full) rather than the standard pair. Other birth defects that the test screens for are monosomy X, triple X syndrome, and Jacob syndrome. The Panorama test also determines the sex of the baby. Along with screening for various chromosome defects the Panorama test determines if the baby is a boy or a girl. By seeing if the sex chromosomes are XX (girl) or XY (boy) the sex of the baby is determined. This is an added plus because it's often too difficult to get a good ultrasound view early in the pregnancy to determine the sex of the baby. Although the Panorama test website states that the test can be done as early at 9 weeks of pregnancy, my doctor scheduled me to come in for the blood test at 12 weeks. They then send away the blood samples to the lab and it takes about 2 weeks to get the results (according to the website it's only about a week but I'm sure most doctor offices add in time for specimen shipment and results to come back). I got a call exactly 2 weeks later- but the results came back inconclusive. My doctor explained that the inconclusive results were not an indication that anything was wrong. What happened was that there was not enough fetal DNA extracted from my blood to attain results so I had do go in again to be retested with a second blood test. DNA was also taken from the father, by getting a cheek swap. This is optional with the Panorama test so it was not done the first time I had it done. The second test came back another 2 weeks later without an issue. The way the results work is that based on the analysis of the fetal DNA you find out if you are at low or high risk of having a baby with abnormalities. The results list of the risk of each condition (such as trisomy 21, trisomy 18, etc) and if the baby is at low or high risk. The test also breaks down the odds of the condition based on the mother's age. For example my results listed: Trisomy 21 (Down Syndrome) risk based on my age is 1/266 and based on the blood work- my risk is less than 1/10000 resulting in Low Risk. The doctor can go over the results and if any of the results come back high risk further testing can be done. In my case everything came back as low risk so the odds of my baby having any birth defects or abnormalities is very low. Great news! We also found out the sex of the baby but I'm saving that for another post. Hope this was informative for some and if you're here just to follow my pregnancy and progress hope this wasn't too boring for you- thanks everyone!
As I mentioned in a previous post (Pregnancy Not like the movies) there are a number of alignments that come along with pregnancy. Some of the more common ones that affect sleeping are aches and pains, heartburn, and insomnia. And that's were pregnancy pillows come in. Pregnancy pillows are marketed as a tool to help pregnant woman get comfortable and alleviate pain so they can get rest. Pregnancy pillows come in a variety of shapes and sizes from wedges that target a specific area or problem to full body pillows that claim to be designed to handle a list of alignments such as back pain, knee pain, ankle pain, restless leg syndrome, and sciatica. For more on pregnancy pillows and how to chose/ use one check out- WikiHow Pregancy Pillow
Why I decided to get a pregnancy pillow
If you have been following my blog you already know that I have a lot of hip and back pain because of my hip dysplasia and that pregnancy has made increase this pain as well as given me a list of other problems since I've been " blessed" (read the sarcasm) with so many pregnancy symptoms. I was still in my first trimester when it became increasingly difficult to get comfortable and fall asleep at night. Having had my hip problem all my life I already know that I can get some pain relief by placing pillow between my legs and sleeping on my side but I found myself tossing and turning too much and constantly re positioning the pillows around me. Being pregnant gave me nose bleeds and sinus issues so I also needed to stack some pillows behind me to elevate my head. For all these reasons I decided to look into getting a pregnancy pillow. The Bump Nest Relief System Pregnancy Pillow
After reading a bunch of reviews and checking out a number of full body and pregnancy pillows in baby stores I decided to go with the Bump Nest. Yes, this product is on the high end of the price spectrum but based on reviews and write ups I decided to give it a try. The reason I decided to go with this pillow rather than the many others out on the market was the soft natural material and because it's machine washable. Many of the other pillows had synthetic materials or covers and although many covers are washable now, few of the pillows are able to be washed without losing their shape.
The bump nest can be purchased as either the relief system or pillow only. If you purchase the pillow only you'll receive one that looks like the candy cane shaped pillow in the picture above (priced at $99 on the company website). The pregnancy pillow does not include the white with pink feather base that is pictured above. The bump nest pillow is very soft which I like but if you want a firm pillow this is not your best option. The cover has a hidden zipper, which is nice so when you cuddle up to it there are no scratchy seams. I love the soft cotton breathable material of the knit fabric cover (it's a mix of polyester and cotton if I remember correctly). The cover comes in eight different colors and additional covers can be purchases separately ( $24 each). Both the cover and the pillow are machine washable. I have not yet washed the pillow so I do not know how it will hold up but I'll add an update after a few goes through the laundry.
Bump Nest also sells a relief system that is marketed to help relieve acid reflux and heartburn, which is made up of three pieces (priced at $199). If you purchase this option you'll get a pregnancy pillow and two base support pieces. One of the two bases is wedge shaped and the other is like a big fluffy pillow. The base pillows fit together by the button strap material sown in on the sides. The strap utilized 2 buttons on each side to link these two pieces. The strap also has 3 positions for the buttons so it can be adjusted to pull the two pieces closer together or spaced out more. See picture below:
I purchased the bump nest relief system. I figured it will come in handy even if I do not need all three pieces yet. It just seemed like a good investment especially since I was only in my first trimester when I purchased this product. Although I've had some heartburn and re flux it's not too bad yet so I found that I do not need a high incline every night when I sleep. Instead I detach the base pieces so I can get a little incline with the wedge base for my upper back and head. I use the second part of the base as an extra pillow that I place to my side of use to elevate my feet. The pillow (candy cane shaped portion) is great to lay on my side and get support under my belly and breasts or to throw a leg over. What is not ideal with the pillow is that one side is longer than the other so if you flip sides you can't just wrap your legs around it if you face the shorter side. Although I list that as one of the cons of this product, it really did not bother me much since overall I do sleep much better and don't toss and turn as I used to. I've been able to get comfortable and sleep through most of the night without waking up in pain and needing to adjust the way I'm positioned.
Here's a list of pros and cons I found
Pros and Likes of the Bump Nest pillow only:
The soft breathable material
The wrap around design is great to get back and front support
The whole pillow is machine washable- the case and pillow!
The hidden zipper in the pillow case and no harsh scratchy seams
The soft and easy to twist pillow can me manipulated to various positions
Its like a cuddle buddy!
Free shipping! If you purchase this product directly from BumpNest
Cons and Dislikes of the Bump Nest pillow only:
One side is shorter than the other so you might need to flip the pillow if you flip to your other side
The sections you lay on the most such as were your head rests flatten out from use- although that's too be expected and just requires some re fluffing of the pillow or the use of an extra pillow (which I use anyway)
Not sold in retail stores so you can't check out/ touch the product until it's delivered to your home. (* Quick update I just noticed the website states that this product is also available that Pea in a Pod Maternity and Nordstrom stores but I'm not sure if all stores carry it in stock)
Price
Pros and Likes of the Bump Nest Relief System (3 pieces):
Everything listed above
Base(s) gives you incline helpful when you have heartburn, re flux, or sinus congestion
The bases are detachable re positioned for other uses; wedge can be while laying on side to support the belly and big fluffy base can be used under feet in early pregnancy when still laying on back
Cons and Dislikes of the Bump Nest Relief System (3 pieces) :
Limited color options; although the pillow comes in 8 colors the relief system only have 4 color choices
Amount of space it takes up in the bed. This isn't issue for me yet as I have a full bed to myself but when Teddy shares the bed- the bump nest system and I will occupy a good 2/3 of the bed leaving him limited space.
Price- this by far will be what sways some people away from purchasing this product.
Overall I like the bump nest system and would recommend it to others. I do find that it's improved my sleep. If you can afford the price I say it's worth it; although I find the bump nest relief system a better buy than just the pregnancy pillow. Although the pillow alone is great I just think that there are so many other pregnancy pillows out there that the price may be a deterrent. That might seem strange since I had no issue paying double the price and purchasing the relief system but to me it was a better investment and came with three pieces that can use through my pregnancy and after. Which brings me to my final thought... why don't they market these to people with back and hip issues? If I knew how great this product is I would have purchased it for hip dysplasia years ago, pregnant or not.
** Final note: I did use or try any other pregnancy pillows so this was not based on a comparison to other products. It's simply a review of my experience with the Bump Nest.
When I was about 10 months old it was discovered that I had hip dysplasia, also referred to as congenital hip dysplasia or developmental dysplasia of the hip (DDH). Although I had all the usual testings at birth and then at 6 months- somehow the difference in my legs was not caught until my aunt noticed that my legs looked uneven.
My mother took me to the doctors and x-rays showed that my right hip was not in the correct location. Since my dysplasia was not diagnosed right away it is uncertain if it was congenital (meaning from birth) or developmental. To correct the problem, I was fitted for a brace that was to align the hip in the proper position so that it could develop properly. Unfortunately I ended out having problems with the brace and it did not work as it should have. I had check ups and treatments from that point on but my hip bone never developed properly.
Some general information about Hip Dysplasia
Hip dysplacia is a broad term that can include issued of the location or formation of the hip bone. The severity ranges from slight to extreme. In babies the joint is actually made of cartilage and is malleable so it can sometimes develops incorrectly. Because of that reason proper swaddling is very important. The exact cause of hip dysplasia is unknown but it is widely believed to be developmental. DDH can develope at time of birth, after birth, or in childhood. According to the International Hip Dysplasia Institute, " approximately 1 out of every 20 full term babies has some hip instability and every 2 or 3 out of evey 1,000 infants will require treatment." At the early stages of dysplasia there is no pain so the baby/ child does not cry or complain about pain which is why it is sometimes overlooked right away, such as in my case. Hip dysplasia prevents the hip from functioning properly and can limit mobility. The joint(s) also wears out faster than normal and often leads to early onset arthritis.
For more information I highly recommend the website for the International Hip Dysplasia Institute. Growing up I found limited information on my condition and many people did not understand what it meant when I told them I had hip dysplasia. The website above is the most comprehensive site that I have come across and it has a lot of information about infant, child, and adult dysplasia including signs and symptoms, plans of treatment, and patient stories. They even posted a video about proper swaddling in their prevention section, which I have attached here:
My childhood with hip dysplacia continued
I got a little side tracked but I felt it was important to include some general information about hip dysplasia because many people are not familiar with it. I'm going to get back to a bit more about my condition.
As I mentioned before, I had treatments from when I was diagnosed as a baby and from that point on I would have orthopedic visits at least once a year. Growing up I became very familiar with the numerous doctor and clinic visits, the repeated questions of when it was diagnosed, how it was treated, the various mobility tests to see if I can bend and move both hips and legs properly, and tons of X-rays. As I grew my right hip bone continued to form incorrectly and I developed a discrepancy in my leg lengths. Actually the length of both of my femurs are the same however the misshaped formation of my hip causes my right femur to sit higher up resulting in my right leg being shorter than the left.
This is an Xray from 2013. You can see the difference in the hip joints & that the femur starts higher up my right hip (left side of the xray)
During childhood while I was growing it was suggested that I have surgery that would cut into my left knee (my healthy leg) and scrape some of the cartilage as it grew. If all goes well the cut out cartilage in my left leg would help even out the the difference between my leg lengths. After a second opinion from another doctor my family decided against this idea because if it failed I could end out with problems in both legs.
The difference in my leg lengths was about an inch and a half at the time. I did have a special lift put into my shoe during junior high, however the technology then was not as good as it is now so I was limited on the type of shoes that I could modify, the lifts were heavy, and sometimes seemed to do more harm that good by wearing me out quicker and throwing off my balance even more when I took off my shoes. Besides no kid wants to have one Frankenstein shoe and one normal shoe that draws attention for being weird or different.
Children find reasons to pick on each other over the most minuet things, so having a limp or strange shoes as I did me insecure. I also got tired quicker and the more active I was the more I limped. Balance issues made me clumsy as well. Looking back my mobility was not limited too much but I did have some extra challenges. Other complications resulting from my hip dysplasia
My misshaped hip that caused the discrepancy in the length of my legs caused me to have other issues. My balance was and still is constantly off, which has affected my stability. I was always a clumsy child and I fell down the stairs a number of times. One time I broke my collar bone and knocked a rib out of place by falling down the stairs. The leg difference also makes my spine shift out of balance from which I have back pain. I also dislocated my left knee while playing soccer during high school but it popped back in place. It was not discovered that my knee dislocated until years later, when in my 20s I was again playing soccer and I began having knee pain. Nothing showed on the x rays yet again, but when an MRI was done there was a trail were my knee had popped in and out of place more than once. Since my legs are uneven I distribute the weight unevenly and that alignment is not normal. I can tell in my shoes from the way the sole wears down that more weight is put on the outside edges of my feet and not flat and evenly. This shift in alignment can lead to me mis-stacking my joints and cause extra wear. That also may be why I dislocated my knee.
The deformed shape of my hip does limit my flexibility and the degree that I can bend my legs. It's interesting because I have more issues with my left leg and the inability to bend or contort it into certain positions. Perhaps it is because that's my longer leg. I do however get more pain in my right hip. The pain is usually stronger if I am more active; do more walking, bend my hip a certain way, or stay too long in the same positions.
As I have gotten older the pain has gotten worse and spread. I also began having signs of arthritis about a year ago so now I have increased pain on wet and cold days. As you could imagine I've taken painkillers for a large portion of my life and my tolerance to over the counter pills like Tylenol is very high. I was on prescribed pain killers for some time but I can not stay on them for extended amounts of time because I will develop a tolerance to those as well or I'll become addicted to them. So I needed to find other ways to cope with the pain.
Pain Management of my hip dysplasia Being able to find ways to deal with the pain that doesn't involve pooping pills was extremely important to me. Over the years I found a number of things that help ease the pain such as laying on a hard flat surface for an hour or two, hot baths, heat compresses, Amol (Polish herbal rub made with alcohol), limited walking, lots of breaks between and during activities, and changing up between long periods of sitting and standing. I began doing bikram yoga 4 years ago and I found that it helped with my alignment and balance and eased the pain in my back. Bikram yoga is a series of 26 postures that are done in a room that is heated to 105 degrees and with humidity of 40%. The heat helps get a deeper stretch and I like that it is a very slow paced yoga where you get into a posture and maintain it. For me this is important because I need to modify and adjust postures to make sure I am distributing my weight evenly. The practice has helped with my balance and that has helped minimize pain. The last thing that I found helped ease the pain was weight loss. When I lost some weight and there was less pressure on my joints the frequency and severity of my pain also subsided. I do my best to get by use a combination of these methods to deal with the pain. And when all else fails there are various painkillers to help do the job.
Pregnancy with hip dysplasia Pregnancy in itself is difficult between the hormones, body changes, morning sickness, and aches and pains. Hip dysplasia can be difficult for all the reasons I mentioned above. When you combine the two it can be downright torturous. When I became pregnant I not only had to deal with all these new pregnancy symptoms but I've lost my ability to deal with my hip dysplasia.
Nearly all the methods I used to deal with my hip and back pain are no longer an option. Take for example medication. When you become pregnant many medications are unsafe and you become limited in what you can take. For my hip and back pain it means I am limited to Tylenol. Not just that- I'm limited to no more than 2 tablets every 4-5 hours. Preferably no more than one tablet every 5 hours and no more than 8 tablets in a given day. Before I was pregnant when I had pain I used Tylenol, Alieve, Acetaminophen or any other OTC painkiller that I was popping 5 or 6 pills at a time with up to 12 or 15 pills in a day. This was even approved by my orthopedic and family doctor and that did not always alleviate the pain it just decreased it. Some people might consider taking 15 painkillers in one day on a near daily basis crazy but you have to consider that I've been taking painkillers since childhood so that's not as extreme as it seems. Another reason why this was the norm is because my doctors feel it was better this then to have me on daily doses of percocet or vicodin. The issue with these stronger pain killers is that they should not be taken on a constant basis. Yes people are prescribed these meds but usually for an injury or after surgery during recovery. They are not good for someone such as myself, whose condition will never go away but rather it will gradually get worse. So my limitation of 2 tylenol every 4 hours means that I don't get any relief and I might as well not bother because the small dosage does nothing for me.
Bikram yoga, another of my methods for coping with pain, is also not allowed. Although yoga, more specifically prenatal yoga, is not restricted but rather encouraged during pregnancy- hot yoga is not. Some doctors and sources list that even hot paths are advised against while pregnant. Some say the heat may be dangerous to the baby or cause miscarriage. More so the issue is not the heat but rather the high risk of becoming dehydrated, dizzy, or lightheaded which can cause you to faint or pass out. There's debate over this because I have also read accounts of woman that did bikram yoga while pregnant and I even had a pregnant student in my yoga class a few years ago. It's not recommended if you are new to hot yoga, but if you have been practicing for sometime there's some controversy if it's really dangerous or not. From my experience, I have been doing hot yoga for 4 years and at my most active state I did it three times weekly. I'm very familiar with it and hoped to continue during pregnancy. That was until the first class I did while pregnant and I struggled thorough the entire class and felt that I might seriously pass out. It wasn't until after that incident that I even looked up if bikram is ok to do while pregnant and when I spoke to my doctor he advised me to stop until after the baby is born. So that's the second thing of my list.
I quickly found out that I can't do many of the things I used to when I had hip or back pain. Amol has alcohol, more specifically ethanol, in it so it's not allowed. Hot baths, if very hot, are also discouraged for the same reason my hot yoga class was- there is risk of fainting and in a bath tub that can mean drowning. Ok- so that seems very extreme and no I do not think I will drown in my bath tub but I do feel that running the water a little cooler than I normally would might not be a bad idea for the sake of the baby. Even laying down on a hard surface for an hour or two will no longer be an option because at the third trimester doctors advise against pregnant woman lying on their back. The added weight of the baby and uterus presses on the major vein and can restrict blood flow. That leaves me with the option of a heat compress and rest or to constantly change up between lying down and sitting.
So at this point I covered how I have limited ways to deal with my existing hip and back pain. What's worse, the pregnancy is going to increase my pain and severity as time goes on. In normal pregnancies woman get back and leg pain from the pressure of the baby on their spine. The added weight throws off their balance and it can make walking or standing up difficult. Plus the growing baby means weight gain. All three of those things will intensify my existing problems. I already have hip and back problems and the added pressure just adds to it. My balance is off normally so the baby will make it even harder and increase my chances of falling over. The biggest issue is the weight gain. The added weight adds more strain and work on the joints. All of these have caused my pain to become worse and there is very little I can do about it until the baby is born.
At this point I am in my second trimester. I am not even half way through my pregnancy and I have had days of extreme pain. I've also missed at least 6 days of work because when the pain is bad it makes sitting at a desk for 8 hours impossible. I would have missed even more days but this winter was extra brutal so my office was closed for a good 5- 6 days because of the weather. Good thing because the cold and wet made my pain worse and had there been work I would have needed to call out all those days as well. For a while I was worried I would lose my job because of all the days I missed. As you can imagine I've been stressed out and it just adds to the frustration.
I hoped that my orthopedic would have some helpful tips of what I could do. I saw him a few weeks ago but there is nothing he can do for me while I am pregnant. He said that I'm already doing all that I can and he didn't sugar-coat it when he said it will get worse. He said that as the baby grows the extra weight will make the pain and balance issues worse and in extreme cases it can lead to being bedridden especially at the end of pregnancy. His only positive note was that since my hip dysplasia is at the hip and socket and not much in the pelvis I should be able to have a normal delivery. Woman with hip dysplasia that deformed the shape of the pelvic bone often are limited to Cesarean deliveries. Regarding the pain he offered me a prescription for precocets but he knows I wouldn't take them because of the risks to the baby. His only other suggestion was that if the pain becomes too extreme and I can't work perhaps I can work out a deal with my employer to take my maternity leave before the baby rather than after the delivery. That was what some of his other patients had done. Not a realistic plan if you ask me because I know I'll need the maternity leave after to recuperate and to take care of the baby. At this point I realized that I need to take it day by day and manage the best that I can. I am learning to accept that some things are out of my control so rather than worry about them in advance I need to trust that somehow things will work out.
I'll be sure to add updates of how my hip dysplasia affects the rest of my pregnancy and if it affects the delivery at all.
There's our little peanut. Here's the first image of our little one taken at the first prenatal visit back in February. As the photo lists, I was 9 weeks and 5 days pregnant at the time.
On the topic of prenatal visits, Teddy asked to come along to the first one and at first I was put off by it. It's not that I wanted to deprive him of anything but rather that gyno trips are usually awkward and unpleasant. The idea of him in the room while I lay in stirrups seemed like a horrible idea. However, I reconsidered and invited him along. I'm so happy that I did. Yes, there was an awkward moment of laying pant-less on the exam table in stirrups but being able to see the first image of our baby and hear the heart beat together was such a memorable and amazing moment. It just wouldn't have been the same had we not shared it. Plus... you REALLY can see the baby! I was expecting some unrecognizable blur that the doctor would need to point to repeatedly before I saw it. Instead the minute the image was on screen I clearly saw the head and body of the baby. It rekindled that initial excitement and made the pregnancy real for both of us.
So for anyone that faces the dilemma of should or shouldn't I take my partner along to the visit- I say do it. Sure you might cross some privacy barriers that you hadn't before... then again by the time the birth comes around there will be very little he/ she (she for the same sex partners) has not seen of you and all modesty will be out the window. So why fret over the little things? Enjoy the baby journey together in all it's aspects- even the awkward and not so pleasant moments.
In movies, there always seems to be a comical scene with morning sickness and vomit that is followed by the epiphany of the woman finding out she's pregnant. Before being pregnant, I associated certain things with pregnancy; morning sickness, vomiting, then the image of a woman with a huge baby bump ready to burst, and the long painful delivery. It's a huge leap between the first episodes of morning sickness to the 8 month when the woman is noticeably pregnant. I realize now there's a lot they don't show you in movies and pregnancy is much more exhausting that I ever could have imagined.
Although I did get nauseous and have food aversions, I never had the need to run to the nearest trash bin or toilet and expel my breakfast. I know it varies from pregnancy to pregnancy and there are those women that do spend a good portion of their day hugging the porcelain god. For me it wasn't like that. Some might think I'm lucky, but I still had the nausea and queasy feeling and sometimes I wondered if I wouldn't feel better if I had up chucked. I don't know if pregnancy vomiting gives you the same relief as hangover vomit. I imagine it would be similar and that the outlet would ease the sick feelings much like they do after a night of too much drinking. Either way, I didn't have the stereotypical morning sickness experience. Unfortunately, I did have every other symptom you could imagine.
So what is it really like being pregnant? Well it's a list of things you can't do... can't drink, can't smoke, can't eat sushi, can't snow board, can't .....do anything fun for the next 9 months. Then again with all the symptoms of pregnancy it's a wonder women leave their house at all. It seems a good 7 months is spent feeling sick from all the symptoms and body changes.
Here's a list of pregnancy symptoms (mixed from all three trimesters): Thesevary not only from woman to woman but from pregnancy to pregnancy, so thankfully you might not get all of these symptoms but I'd say there's a strong chance of experiencing more than half (at least that has been my experience)
Missed period
Fatigue (<-- such an understatement)
Sore breasts
Nipples poking out/ erect
Frequent urination
Nausea and vomiting/ morning sickness
Heightened sense of smell (which often leads to gagging and nausea- at least it did for me)
Food aversions
Food cravings
Weight gain
Weight loss (with all the morning sickness some woman lose wait because they have a hard time keeping food down)
Body temperature stays high (it elevates during ovulation and often stays higher after)
Bleeding or spotting
Vaginal discharge
Abdominal pain
Gas
Constipation
Hemorrhoids
Mood Swings
Headaches
Nasal Congestion
Bloody nose
Lower blood pressure
High blood pressur
Excess saliva
Anxiety
Depression
Difficulty sleeping
Weird dreams and/or nightmares
Back pain
Pelvic pain/ groin pain
Round Ligament pain
Heartburn
weakened immune system (more change of colds, flu, etc)
Breathlessness (feeling winded from activities like climbing stairs or even just walking)
Decreased sex drive
Increases sex drive
Breasts growing in size by a cup, two, or more
Growing belly
Dark patches/ Melasma on face
Linea Nigra- faint, dark line down the abdomen
Stretch marks
Gum problems (increased blood circulation can soften your gums and cause minor bleeding when brushing or flossing)
Dizziness
Leg cramps
Increased risk of bladder and kidney infections
Hair growth and not in places you want it (face, back, etc)
Swollen feet, ankles, and hands
Spider and varicose veins
Difficulty sitting, standing, putting on shoes,... hell difficulty doing anything when there is a massive belly in the way.
Balance issues
Braxton Hicks contractions
And besides all those there is the added risk of developing other conditions such as gestational diabetes or anemia.
Sounds horrible, doesn't it? I'm not going to lie- it is. I spent the first three months like a zombie. I had zero energy and honestly I don't know how I made it to work and lasted the day. It drained any strength (what little bit that I had). I would come home from work, skip dinner, go straight to bed at 6:30 and sleep all night (minus those annoying bathroom wakes... to go pee for the millionth time) only to wake up the next morning and still feel completely exhausted. No one warns you how exhausting it is growing a person.
So why do women do it? Honestly because we don't have a choice... you suck it up and hope that what everyone says is true and it will get better and even if it doesn't get better you're told that it will all be worth it. That once you see your baby you will forget all the pain, sickness, and troubles of pregnancy and childbirth. I'm not so convinced about all that but it's too late to turn back now. So for now I have to believe and power through it.
